When COVID hit the US, “Social Distancing” became the new norm. Statewide mandatory quarantine went in full effect, mask on became law, must be 6ft away from another person when conversing 100% teleworking and among other things.
The realization of how severe the effect of this virus hasn’t sunk in ..well up until months after. I even thought it was ok to slow down for a bit and maybe everything will get back to normal in a month or 2. Yes I did all the things I normally do pre-covid. Walked, exercised, hiked – something to burn my time and amuse myself. I reached my 21k steps milestone. I ran for an hour. I hiked mountains. Watched movies on backyard or on patio in the front. I increased my weights when I lift. I baked. I learned new recipe. I started crochet. Crocheted blankets/hats/scarves. I played COD (Call of Duty). Played the stock market.
I volunteered to report onsite. Still feels empty.
There’s something missing. I didn’t know what it was – until it hit me. It was depression. I was having a hard time adjusting to the new normal. I didn’t know how to cope up. I panicked deep inside. Those times when I can just hop in my car and drive and do grocery shopping, say hello to familiar faces in store – I can’t do it anymore. I have to minimize exposure. The thought of bringing any virus home maybe inevitable but not an option. Fear, I live in fear for months.
COVID is hard and brutal. It hurts. It kills – figuratively and mentally.
While on-site one day, I had a convo with a co-worker. I was asking how was COVID when she went overseas for a work assignment. She told me, everything was just like how we deal with things here. And I said, “Weren’t you afraid you’ll get the infection?” She said, “NO, if it happens, it happens – but I won’t let it control me. I do take precautionary measures, mask on all the time and I am mindful of what I do and my surroundings.” It dawned on me, all this time, I had been so afraid of something that is already here and won’t go away. I had let it control me to a point where I live in constant fear, and literally I stopped living.
2 days after – I took a leave from work and drove to Paige Arizona to experience life again. To live. To see people. I love to travel (not flying but driving) and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. I’m back on track. Yes, of course COVID is here and more than likely won’t go away but hey, I’ve coped up. I fully embraced the new normal and living better.
Live. We need to live. We can’t let any life altering moment change us. We have to re-adjust and continue living. We can take a pause to assess and re-assess but we MUST continue moving forward. Life moved on for me and I hope it is on you too.